This episode offers a deeply personal conversation with Jaime and Alan Aurelia, the core members of the New York-based band Not From Concentrate. They share the journey of their unique "scrum" sound—a fusion of ska, punk, and grunge—and the even more profound journey of their relationship. You'll hear about Jaime's experience coming out as a transgender man and how this pivotal change rippled through their marriage, their music, and their lives.Alan speaks with remarkable openness about the initial pain and confusion, and the path towards a renewed understanding and deeper love for Jaime. Together, they explore themes of identity, the complexities of visibility for trans individuals (particularly the scarcity of gay trans male representation in media), and the strength found in unwavering commitment. It's a story about evolution, resilience, and the courage to live authentically, both as individuals and as a couple.Timestamped Key Takeaways[00:00:55] Introducing Not From Concentrate: Dan introduces the band and their "scrum" genre, a mix of ska, punk, and grunge.[00:02:18] Jaime Joining the Band: Jaime recounts joining the band, initially unfamiliar with ska, and learning the genre.[00:03:10] How Jaime and Alan Met: Alan and Jaime share the story of meeting at a college radio station.[00:04:07] Dating in a Band: The challenges and eventual success of their relationship starting within the band.[00:05:44] What is a Bass Diva?: Alan explains his protectiveness over his bass guitar.[00:07:23] The Misuse of "Woke": Discussion on how the term "woke" is often used to mask prejudice against queer people and people of colour.[00:07:41] Jaime's Transition: Jaime speaks about coming out as transgender and the beginning of his transition journey around the time of COVID.[00:08:53] Lack of Trans Representation: Jaime highlights the lack of visibility for gay trans men in media, which initially caused him confusion about his own identity. Dan mentions a report showing zero gay trans characters on British TV in a recent year.[00:12:34] Alan's Perspective on Jaime's Transition: Alan describes his emotional experience, comparing it to "watching your wife die" while working to fall in love with the same person anew. He discusses the conflict and the eventual reaffirmation of his love.[00:15:11] Navigating Transition with Scarce Resources: Jaime talks about the lack of resources for trans men, especially those transitioning later in life, and the negative predictions he received about his marriage.[00:18:18] Love and Growing Up: The conversation turns to the depth of their love and how they've navigated profound changes together, ultimately strengthening their bond.[00:21:21] Queer Culture and Music Genres: Dan and Alan discuss the narrow range of music genres often dominating queer cultural spaces and the importance of diversity in queer artistic expression.[00:22:26] Not From Concentrate's Audience: Alan describes their audience as ska lovers with an increasing number of queer people attending their shows. He emphasises that not all LGBTQ+ people want only dance or pop music.[00:25:32] A Moment of Recognition: Alan shares an anecdote about someone observing their affectionate interaction as a gay couple, making him feel seen.[00:26:23] The Desire for Normalcy: Discussion about the queer community's desire for acceptance and normalcy rather than dominance.[00:30:14] Alan's Two Minutes to the World: Alan speaks about the power of music as an equalizer and a positive force.[00:32:19] Gateway Song