Welcome to The VIP Show. Today is a special Podcast for all of us. ENJOY!Dating is harder now than ever before. Here’s why: We define our own identities, unlike our ancestors, whose lives were defined by their communities. We have thousands of options at our fingertips, which causes us to question our decisions. We’re uncomfortable making big decisions when we can’t research our way to the right answer. Social media leads us to believe that everyone else is in healthier, happier relationships than we are. Far too few of us have good relationship role models. There are far more models for dating and long-term relationships. We’re bombarded with messaging that we need to get this decision “right”—and that a right answer exists at all.But there’s hope. Using insights from behavioral science, we can take control of our love lives.Disney Lied to UsOur mindset matters! The ability to shift your mindset from soul mate to work-it-out beliefs could mean the difference between finding a life partner or not.People with soul mate beliefs reject promising partners because they don’t match their vision for what love should look and feel like. They think that love will just happen to them. They expect love to be effortless. If it’s not, they must be with the wrong person.People with a work-it-out mindset know that relationships take effort and that building a successful relationship is a process.Our belief in fate and fairy tales—caused in part by Disney movies, rom-com, and social media—creates unrealistic expectations for finding and sustaining relationships. Remember, no one is perfect, including you. Even Prince Charming has a morning breath.The Happily-Ever-After Fallacy is the mistaken idea that the hard work of love is finding someone. In reality, that’s only the beginning. Staying in love takes work, too. If you expect relationships to be easy, you’ll be caught off guard when they hit an inevitable rough patch.Don’t Let Perfect Be the Enemy of GreatMaximizers obsess over making the right decision. They want to explore every possible option before they make a choice. Even when they decide, they constantly wonder what they’re missing out on. Satisficers figure out what they want and stop looking once they’ve met their criteria. They don’t settle, they merely stop worrying about what else is out there once they’ve made a decision.Research shows that Satisficers tend to be happier because, in the end, satisfaction comes from how you feel about your decision, not the decision itself.The current dating climate creates Maximizers out of many of us. No one ever seems good enough, and we wonder if we could be happier with someone else. Maximizing tendencies in relationships can lead to mental anguish, costly delays in decision-making, and missed opportunities.Maximizers assume there is a right answer for whom to be with. And there’s not.This knowledge can help us commit without worrying about what else is out there. The power of rationalization can also help us embrace our decisions.--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/yours-cube/message Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.