
328: Knighted Penguins, Sleep Disorders & IG Ruining Everything | DIYS with Jay Washington
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Episode · 1:20:26 · Nov 13, 2025
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️ FACTOR Get 50% off + FREE breakfast for a year! Go to https://factormeals.com/DIYS50off and use code DIYs50off INDACLOUD If you’re 21 or older, get 40% OFF your first order + free shipping @IndaCloud with code [DIYS] at https://inda.shop/DIYS #indacloudpod GLD New customers get 50% Off AND a FREE chain with code DIYS at https://www.GLD.com CASH APP New customers earn $10 with code SECURE10 when sending $5 to a friend. Terms apply. Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/crftch8p #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. This week on Dam Internet, You Scary!, Tahir is joined by comedian, actor, writer, and content creator @MrJayWashington this episode… man. It starts wild and somehow gets wilder. We cover everything from Instagram ruining society, Pizza Hut nostalgia, knighted penguins, dolphins with boundary issues, a man who sleeps 300 days a year, a nurse who “lightened his workload” the worst way possible, porn logic, relationship hypotheticals, and the most unhinged analogies you’ll hear all week. Join our Patreon now!! https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary 0:00 – Welcome Back + Immediate Chaos 0:51 – Freeballing & Bathroom Podcasting 4:27 – Career Blessings & Christmas Movie 5:05 – Christmas Porn Joke Derailment 6:01 – “Stop One Invention?” → Instagram 8:25 – Food Reviewers & Shucking/Jiving Talk 9:04 – Terry Crews / Fitness Joke 10:33 – Black vs White Porn Titles 10:56 – MAS*H “Spear Chucker Jones” Discovery 12:04 – FACTOR Ad Read 15:20 – Bruce/Caitlyn Transition Joke 16:34 – Instagram’s Evolution to Insanity 18:23 – Twerking Distractions & Discipline 19:27 – Twitter Porn Algorithms 20:35 – Pizza Hut Nostalgia 23:13 – Beaded Curtain Video Store Era 24:05 – Porn Names & Credit Roll Joke 25:26 – Storyline Porn Rant 25:47 – POV Porn… with a Condom 26:16 – “Realistic Porn” Requirements 28:29 – Meta Glasses VR Porn Debate 30:23 – Knighted Penguin Story 31:52 – Brigadier Penguin Explained 32:22 – Dolphins Are Menaces 33:13 – Dolphin Brain Visual 34:01 – Woman in Love with Dolphin Story 35:21 – Woman Who Married a Ferris Wheel 36:29 – IN THE CLOUD Ad Read 39:57 – God Talking at 3AM 40:57 – Negotiating With Noah for Ark Admission 42:22 – Hollywood: Talent vs Value 43:43 – Sugar Baby Logic 45:09 – Sugar Mama Age Limit (83) 46:13 – Slavery Draft Pick Bit 47:18 – German Nurse Who Killed 10 Patients 50:10 – “Lightening the Workload” Breakdown 51:12 – Nursing Home Bed Turnover Reality 53:22 – Uncle Remus vs Harold’s (Chicago Debate) 54:08 – GLD Ad Read 58:42 – Jesus, Mary, Joseph & Theories 1:00:02 – Did Joseph Smash? + Jesus’ Brother James 1:01:18 – Superhead vs Mary Magdalene 1:03:09 – Trailer Park Fight League 1:04:13 – Man Who Sleeps 300 Days a Year 1:05:35 – Could You Care for Someone Like That? 1:06:19 – Partner With No Limbs Hypothetical 1:07:09 – Airline Carry-On Problem 1:08:18 – Box, Packing Peanuts, iPad Playlist 1:09:36 – Playlist for Limbless Bae 1:10:29 – CASH APP Ad Read 1:11:45 – AI Version of Tahir 1:12:20 – Losing Voice & Voice Filters 1:13:14 – Bigfoot Joke + Kids Don’t Watch Dad 1:14:15 – Reverse Cowgirl… Solo Edition 1:15:19 – Dry Jacking vs Lotion Debate 1:16:11 – Jacking Off Using Imagination?! 1:17:05 – Porn Volume vs Neighbors 1:18:32 – Interracial Line Joke 1:18:52 – Hippie’s Editing Hell 1:19:17 – Jay’s Outro + Links
1h 20m 26s · Nov 13, 2025
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