Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - We Wish You a Turtle Christmas

We unearthed a Christmas special so low-quality, it happens in a sewer.  ️ Shawn Robare from the Cult Film Club and Jonathan Zelenak from The Sewer Den drop in for a radically recollection of “We Wish You a Turtle Christmas,” a 1994 cash-grab video starring the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles… or at least some version of them.  ****  Topics & Tangents:  About the Sewer Den, Jonathan’s massive TMNT collection, and his blog post about this special.  The Coming Out of Their Shells Tour.  The Turtles’ smiles look like they’re from Soundgarden’s “Black Hole Sun” music video.  A 1975 anime version of “The Little Mermaid” had a not-at-all-coincidental resurgence around 1990.  Writer Tish Rabe also produced “Big Bird in China” and “3-2-1 Contact,” created The Cat in the Hat Learning Library after Dr. Seuss’s death, and has written over 160 children’s books.  Y’all want to watch 43 minutes of the Ninja Turtles on Oprah?  That time a warehouse that housed the Rock-afire Explosion actually exploded.  The only pizza place willing to appear in this special is Sbarro, which has come a long way since the Fat Boys’ “All You Can Eat.”  The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pizza Cookbook is a real book you should own.  The cheapest gifts we’ve ever gotten our parents from our elementary school Christmas bazaar.  Fun game: Sneak the “Wrap Rap” on a playlist in the middle of New Kids on the Block’s Christmas album and see if anyone notices.  ****  “We Wish You a Turtle Christmas” © 1994 Christopher Films, Inc. / Mirage Studios.  Find us at adventcalendar.house.