How old was I when I grew up?

My father died when I was 7 years old. Did my mental switch happen then? I remember hearing family members after the funeral tell me that I was now the man of the house, but because I was young, I understood the meaning, but I didn’t understand what they meant too. My mom cried, I remember that. Did she look at me and wonder what was going to become of me now that my dad had died? How old was I when I grew up? When did the switch happen. Can I blame my weirdness because of his passing? Do I reach back then to his death, and blame that day on how I later reacted as a teenager? Am I smart enough to know that life happens to us all, but my actions, regardless, are my own, so, no, I cannot blame the world just because my father died when I was 7 years old. The world is a cruel place; I’ll agree to that. My father’s death was a blimp in a day where a lot happened around the world, even though to me it felt like the only thing that happened on that day. Time changed for me and my family forever. How old was I when I grew up? Growing up, my friends were different from me I could see it from a very young age. My friends had both parents in the house and that can leave you vulnerable to pain. One thing can happen to both of us, and we react differently due to our different situations. I barely cried growing up. I sit and I wonder when did I grow up? Did I mature too fast because of the void left at home? My mind has been older than my friends mind for a very long time. I was the cautious one. I knew trouble could lead down a bad road. I had no father to have my back, I knew it would break my mother’s heart who had to deal with a lot on her plate because she became an instant bread winner, and she didn’t have a choice to say no. Did I grow up or am I still 7 in a man’s body who merely evolved because of a situation I could not veto? It broke me and the wave only hit when I was mature enough to comprehend the loss that had affected my families entire trajection. The loss of a parent leaves a void whether through death, abandonment, or rejection. We’re a species that needs a good family structure but we’re failing to maintain this in my opinion. Is there a way to get back what you lost? No. But you can make sure that your family is taken care of and you show up and reset the trajection and bullseye. Be the man in your family’s life and do good by them. Become a community member: Click HereBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/emotional-intelligence-developer--6645891/support. Become a community member:https://members.emotionalintelligencedeveloper.com/ FREE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TOOLS A free emotional support tool you might find useful Suicide Prevention Awareness Tool: https://emotionalintelligencedeveloper-glitch.github.io/mcn/Suicide-Prevention-and-Emotional-Support-Tool.htmlThis is a free 2027 - A.I. Tool, work and life reflection tool helps you feel less alone and find a next step: https://emotionalintelligencedeveloper-glitch.github.io/mcn/ai-bubble-fear-2026-tool.html This free Boundary Builder tool helped me find my words: https://emotionalintelligencedeveloper-glitch.github.io/mcn/boundary-builder-tool.html