Bottle Service

Miles helps Desiree with a personal issue, while Bob changes his ordering procedure. Subscribe Random show from the last 25+ years Random Post https://youtube.com/live/r95ZbxHYsQs Miles helps Desiree with a personal issue, while Bob changes his ordering procedure. Bottle Service Bad AI Transcript Hey, did you happen to see the most beautiful girl in the world? And if you did, oh, she crying, crying, hey. I'm lying here with Linda on my mind. Hey everyone, this is Miles. Is that Conway Twitty? Yes, Conway Twitty, yeah. Are you a Twitty, what do they call those, Twitty Titties? What do they call those women that like Conway Twitty? I didn't know it existed, but I guess. Back in the day. I see. something like that. They had some kind of, you know, funny name for them. Uh, not where i came from, but okay. Yeah. Really? I was really, you know, those women with the like bleach blonde, tall hair, you know, where they had keep going out went out and bought like the leaning tower, a piece of hair for their head. Oh yeah. Yeah. That big beehive kind of bullshit you know yeah well we're going way back here, folks.Way back. Way back. Classic. I've got to tell you. Welcome, everybody, to the show. We're glad you're here. Thanks for listening. Really appreciate it. taking donations for the miles title ER fund. gone so much lately that, you know, he really needs to put in for a, you know. I need some adderall people, so come on, man. If everybody would just, here's my po box, mail me all your leftover drugs. Yeah, anything. Yeah. That would be like if you remember the soupy sales thing where he said to take Oh, yeah. Yeah, that would be you. You'd be like, I'll take any. Leftover prescriptions. Yeah. Don't even have to label them. And breast milk. Yeah. That'd be weird. Yeah. That was a weird thing to say. Yeah. Yeah. Fresh or frozen. I actually saw that on a, like one of those community boards there on something like some days I, I got plenty. So if anyone's interested. And look, that's a weird question. Now, would you give your, well, I know you would take it yourself, but would you give your child someone else's breast milk?I don't know how that works. Is that right? I mean, I don't know. I mean, you give other people milk and that doesn't seem right. Well, I know. I mean, what if the woman's a tweaker or something? You know, I don't know. People call me the space cowboy. Got breast milk on Craigslist. You see some weird stuff sometimes. I don't know. Some people call me. Miles title. I'm down with the breast milk of love. I like a sippy cup full of bee juice. Oh, I hope my family's not listening. Please. God. Yeah. If my nephew's listening, this is all scripted. So if you're listening, I'd be forced to read this. He's got blackmail material on me that I cannot shake all the way from my college days. Yeah, basically.So I've been forced to do this all these years because of it. I could not tell my story without… Don't blame your old Uncle Miles. It's not his fault. I'm trying to think of… I traveled and you think I would have funny things to talk about. Do you like to go out and eat? I did. Well, this is kind of funny because… Not because it was inherently funny, but I got an out to eat story for you. And you love to judge people. So go ahead. Continue. How's that breast milk tasting right now? So I was working out of town and I needed to get some food. I did not eat lunch. I skipped lunch because I didn't. I don't know. They had this kind of bagel sandwich thing going on. And I was thirsty for a teat. And then they'll have this stuff all over. I cannot stand my food smeared with other juicy condiments. Like breast milk? Or whatever. Yeah. If you put a little cornstarch in it, you can thicken it up.Make it into a nice spread. Put a little strawberry into it. It'll taste great. It's like quick. I'm like, okay, I'm skipping lunch because they threw all the sandwiches in a big kiddie pool full of mayonnaise or something. I'm like, I cannot. No, I'm not going to have that. It's not the salad I ordered. And they're like, Bob, do you want some lunch? I'm like, no, no. You know, there's always in the movie or whatever where somebody's not going to touch whatever it is, like shaking their head. No, no, that was me. But Marie, I am awful thirsty. Yeah, and so I skipped lunch. So I was really hungry, but then I had to do an evening thing. So I've wanted, I know you're going to,Was that like Buffalo Bill's dance in the Silence of the Lambs? Was that your evening thing where you talk a little and start dancing? That's right. What size are you? I picture that's your evening thing. Would you eat mayonnaise? I'd eat a mayonnaise so hard. I'm not eating the mayonnaise. It puts the mayonnaise on the bagel. It's the lotion in the bagel. I only had an hour to go get something to eat and get back. The problem was this venue was nowhere near anything. I wanted to have a nice salad and a steak. So I drove, they're both healthy. So, yeah, exactly. So I was, uh, I was sitting there not paying attention, which I should have been and looking up and I'm like, oh my gosh, I could eat a steak and get a salad and a steak here at the hotel. And it's going to cost me like $60. I know it was a fancy place and I'm like, but there's an outback about 15 minutes away.Yeah. So I hightail it to the Outback during my time. Mm-hmm. You know, I'm driving. You know, you hear like Dukes of Hazzard music in the back. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Because I'm down at Lake of the Ozarks, which is already Dukes of Hazzard country. You get to the DV car. Come on. Yeah. So I go screaming into the Outback, and I get seated. And this nice lady comes over is going to be my waitress. And she's like, well, you want to drink? And so I told her and, um, and then she comes back and she took a little long with the drink. You know what I mean? Sorry. I was almost on the clock here. I got to get out of here. Right. It was a big cup full of breast milk. It took me a little while. I'm sorry. Yeah.I actually had Coke Zero, which is my new drink of choice. Yeah, go ahead. Because, you know, I love Coca-Cola. But anyway, so she comes back with my Coke, and she's like, you ready to order? And I'm like, yes. And I go, don't delay anything. I go, I want it all as quickly as possible. You want an asshole. Jesus. I wasn't being mean. And she's She's like looking at me like, she's like, you know the salad will come out first, right? Maybe it will. Maybe it won't. I go, yes. I go, but don't delay anything. Just put it all in. I don't care when it comes out. I got to eat and get out of here. And she's like all confused. Mm-hmm. She's like, oh, okay. Mm-hmm.Anyway, she brings me my salad and my bread, which, by the way, they have the best bread. I don't know what the hell it's made out of. You know what the secret ingredient is, don't you? What is it? Brass milk. Yeah, I figured you were going to say that. But anyway, I really confused the hell out of her. And then she did bring me my food fairly quickly. Here you go there, Russian boy. Here you are. And it was actually really quite good. My wife asked me, she's like, did you send a picture to Miles of your steak? No, I did not. So I think that joke is worn thin now. Yeah. Yeah. But she really was put off by the fact that I wanted to have my food quickly. It's weird. Bob will send these pictures like, hey, this is from Tiger Tigers. So, you know, I'm like, well, come on, get the fuck out of here with that. So, yeah, but I thought I was being nice, right? I was like, I'm going to try to do this more. I'll be honest with you. Even though you think I'm an asshole.Oh, I know you're an asshole, and I don't think it. I know it. I know it. I've been too polite for too long, and I just need to put it out there the way I want things now into the world. As he makes fun of an old man a week ago on the show, by the way, yeah. Who was the old man? Whoa, whoa, whoa. You guys are out of the restaurant. All these crippled people keep coming. You're making fun of some old man who probably fought in World War II. He could take you on any day of the week. I wasn't making fun of him. I'm just saying he's in better shape than you are. Probably. I'm like, yeah, I think this is the new approach. I'm like, no, I want this. The next night,I went to one of my favorite pizza places down Lake of the Ozarks called Pappos or Pappos. I don't know how they say it. And I'm by myself. I go sit at the bar. The waitress comes up. What do you want? Coke Zero. And I got a pizza. And I'm like, I don't even look at it in the menu. Give me this. And Coke Zero. Boom. She was happy. They both got 20%. Welcome to Areoles. So, you know, I'm just saying. Wow, it looks pretty hot looking. What's that? Was she hot looking? No, they were just waitresses. I don't know. Well, it sounds like you got something going on with those ladies at the bar. I don't know. No, no, no. I'm just saying I've taken this approach where I'm not going to the conventional method where you get your drink. I know what I want. I know what I want every time I go in someplace.I never go anywhere where I don't know what I want. I look at all the menus online and then I go there. Sometimes I do look at the menus online. But get in there. Get what I want. Get it ordered. Eat it. It's fantastically delicious. Ate at the bar watching the Masters Tournament on the television. Yeah. And got out of there. The funny thing on that one was when I came in the door, they They have a weird setup. You come into the back of the restaurant at Papo's. Because the parking lot's back there. Because down at Lake of the Ozarks, the land prices are sky high. And so everybody's got some kind of bullshit parking lot g