5. Where Did the Spark Go?

Here’s a potentially confronting question: When you say the spark has disappeared from your relationship… has the relationship actually become boring, or have you become a little bit fucking boring too?Because we’re very quick to look across at our partner.She doesn’t initiate anymore. We don’t have sex like we used to. We don’t flirt. We don’t date. Something feels different.But before you make her responsible for bringing you back to life, I want to know what happened to your own spark.This episode is about why I don’t think couples need to keep trying to recreate the people they were when they first met. You’ve changed. She’s changed. Life has happened to both of you.We get into familiarity versus curiosity, why knowing somebody for fifteen years doesn’t mean you’ve finished discovering them, novelty and sexual desire, attachment and love-language labels, what actually makes each of you feel alive now, and what to do when you feel like you’re the one trying to reconnect.The goal isn’t necessarily getting the old spark back.It might be discovering what creates one now.In this episode:• Looking for your own spark before blaming the relationship• Why you probably miss a feeling more than you miss your old relationship• Familiarity, curiosity and continuing to discover your partner• What relationship research says about novelty and self-expansion• Why love languages and attachment styles should be tools, not identities• Two conversations I’d actually encourage couples to have• How to speak when you miss feeling wanted or connected• What happens when you’re changing and your partner isn’t meeting you there yetHosted by Katelin Vincent | You Go Bro.If something in this episode landed, send it to a mate who might need to hear it too — and don’t forget to recharge yourself.I’ve got your back, man. Stay connected: @yougobro_ https://linktr.ee/yougobro_ Buy Katelin a tea: Ko-fi.com/yougobro Contact: yougobrotherz@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.